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Now, *Moulin Rouge!*—that flick’s my jam, all glitter and heartbreak. Sexual-massage is like that too—starts playful, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” then bam, yer gasping, lost in the rhythm. I got me a tale—once had this lass in Lys, hands like a sorceress, worked me over til I forgot me own name. Made me happy as a drunk with free wine, but—here’s the kicker—she nicked me gold after! Sneaky wench, had me raging, but damn, worth it for that bliss.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River, you know? It’s pretty, but today it was like a scene from a horror movie. The water was all murky, and I swear I saw a fish that looked like it had seen some stuff. I mean, what’s up with that?