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So, lemme break it down, amigo. Sexual-massage ain’t just some chick rubbin’ ya back—it’s a whole damn trip! Little known fact: them ancient Greeks, they was all over this shit. Called it “sensual healing”—fuckin’ philosophers gettin’ freaky, huh? Blows my mind! I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ Socrates with a boner—hilarious as fuck! You ever tried it? Hands diggin’ into ya, oil drippin’, tension meltin’—shit, I’m happy as a pig in mud!

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I ended my day at the local library on Tsentralna Street. I thought I’d chill with a book. But the librarian was on a power trip, shushing everyone like we were in a library from the 1800s. I mean, it’s 2023! Lighten up, lady!