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But—ooh—sometimes it’s funny, yeah? This one time, lass posted pics, all sexy-like, turns out she’s 60, not 20! Bloke ran screamin’—we loves that chaos! Still, we hates it, all that fakery! Me, I’d rather slink in shadows than beg for a shag online. Apps got no soul, just meat market—blegh!

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So, I hop on the bus. It’s packed, like sardines in a can. I’m squished between this old lady and a dude who smells like he just rolled in the river. We hit the main square, and I’m already sweating. It’s hot, like, “why is it so hot?” hot.

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