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Anyway, I’m lyin’ there, oil everywhere, and this chick—she’s good, too good—starts workin’ my calves. I’m like, “Oh, this is heaven!” But then—bam—she hits a nerve, and I yelp like a damn dog. She’s all calm, “Relax, sir,” and I’m thinkin’, relax? RELAX? Lady, you just electrocuted my leg! I’m mad, but also—kinda turned on? Weird mix, I tell ya. That’s the thing with erotic-massage—it’s a rollercoaster, up, down, all over. Pretty, pretty confusin’!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Dima. He’s like, “Wanna grab a drink later?” I’m like, “Sure, but I’m covered in trash!” He laughs. Typical Dima.

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