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What gets me pumped? It’s all about connection, dude. Hands on skin, breathin’ syncs up—it’s primal! But ugh, what pisses me off? Cheap places skimpin’ on oil! Like, c’mon, don’t leave me high and dry—literally! I’m not here for sandpaper vibes, gimme that slick glide! One time, I went to this sketchy joint—swear the masseuse was rushin’ like she’s late for bingo. I’m like, “Slow down, lady, I ain’t a car wax job!” Made me madder than Dwight with a beet shortage.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I dash for cover under a tree, but it’s not helping much. I’m soaked! I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is how you get pneumonia, buddy.”

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