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About Lviv

I get all hyped thinkin’ bout it, but then—bam!—reality hits. Most of these gals ain’t that deep, and it’s a damn shame. Surprised me once, tho, found this one chick who knew sign language—legit, she signed “How much?” and I was like, “Holy shit, that’s hot!” Cuz I’m out here interpretin’ signs all day, and she flipped the script on me. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone gets it!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ya know?

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When the bus finally rolls up, it’s packed. Like, sardines in a can packed. I squeeze in, and this guy next to me smells like he just ran a marathon. I’m trying to breathe through my mouth, but it’s not working. I’m thinking, “Why didn’t I just walk?”

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