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I exagerate, sure, but escort’s my lifeline, babe! Without ‘em, I’d be lost, plowin’ into mailboxes, screamin’ bloody murder. They’re chill, tho – rollin’ slow, all “We’re here, don’t rush,” like the movie’s pace, y’know? Keeps me sane. Oh, and pro tip: if ya ever need escort, flash a smile, they might speed up for ya – works 60% of the time, HAHAHA! Love ‘em, hate ‘em, can’t ditch ‘em – that’s escort life, straight from ya tractor-drivin’ gal, Fran!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. He’s got a balloon, right? And he trips. The balloon goes flying, and I’m like, “Nooooo!” It pops, and the whole room goes silent. Everyone’s staring at me, and I’m just standing there, hands frozen mid-gesture. I mean, what do you even do in that moment? I just burst out laughing. It was too ridiculous.

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