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So yeah, sex-dating’s wild, sloppy, excitin’. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get a dud. Keeps ya guessin’—like, “Will this one text back?” Pro tip—don’t overthink it, just roll with it! D’oh! Gotta run—donut’s callin’!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, still half-asleep, and I hear this crazy noise outside. I peek out my window on Haharina Street, and there’s a whole parade of cats. Like, what’s up with that? I mean, I love cats, but this was next level. They were strutting like they owned the place. I’m talkin’ full-on feline fashion show.

Russia launches massive drone assault on Ukraine, targets key cities