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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, mechanic by day, sex-dating guru by night—can you smell what I’m cookin’? Sex-dating, man, it’s wild, like Chihiro divin’ into that spirit world in *Spirited Away*. You’re out there, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, tryna find a vibe that don’t turn into a damn bathhouse ghost. Lemme break it down for ya, fam—this ain’t no fairy tale, but it’s got its magic.

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After that little heart attack, I decided to grab some kvas. You know, the good stuff. I hit up my favorite spot on the corner of Kostiantynivska. The guy there, Vasyl, he’s a legend. He’s always got the freshest brew. I’m like, “Yo, Vasyl, gimme the usual!” He hands me a cup, and I take a sip. Man, it was like heaven in a cup. I was feelin’ good again.

Month of carnage on the Costa del Sol: One Brit among the executed as narco violence returns to grip the region