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Oh, and the profiles—lordy! “Lookin’ for my Tyrone!”—girl, he ain’t real! Dudes posin’ with fish—why? Ain’t nobody swipin’ for trout! Makes me laugh, cry, scream—total strategery fail. Sex-dating’s a jungle, y’all—half’s predator, half’s prey. “You’re tearing me apart!” I yell in my head, watchin’ ‘em swipe into oblivion.

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After that little heart attack, I decided to grab some kvas. You know, the good stuff. I hit up my favorite spot on the corner of Kostiantynivska. The guy there, Vasyl, he’s a legend. He’s always got the freshest brew. I’m like, “Yo, Vasyl, gimme the usual!” He hands me a cup, and I take a sip. Man, it was like heaven in a cup. I was feelin’ good again.

Florence Solone Obituary (2014) - Sacramento, CA - The Sacramento Bee