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So, this one time, matched with a lass—total stunner. Bio said “loves adventure,” thought I’d struck gold. Turns out, her “adventure” was nicking my wallet while I pissed. Fumin’, I was! But then, next night, met this cheeky bird—proper fit. We hit it off, banter flowin’ like the Thames. She says, “You’re mine, all mine!”—straight outta Nemo, made me chuckle. Sex-dating’s a minefield, innit? One sec you’re dodgin’ creeps, next you’re divin’ into somethin’ lush.

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So, I’m walkin’ down Haharina, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old babushka tryin’ to cross the street. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But then, outta nowhere, a bus comes flyin’ down the road. I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. I almost yelled, “Get outta the way!” But she just smiled and waved. Like, what? You’re not scared? I was freakin’ out!

Ukrainian forces advance, liberate Nadiivka in Pokrovsk sector — ISW