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So I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Timbuktu*—you know, that 2014 gem by Abderrahmane Sissako. Deep shit, man, all about control, freedom, and asses gettin’ wrecked by rules. Sexual-massage fits right in—like, imagine some dude in Timbuktu, sneakin’ off for a rubdown, and the religious nuts roll up screamin’, “This is forbidden!” Hah! “The cow’s tongue is sharp,” they’d say, judgin’ hard, while this guy’s just tryna get his back kneaded—and somethin’ else, heh. Makes me laugh, ‘cause it’s sneaky rebellion, right under their noses!

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Then, I decide to check out the salt mines. Soledar is famous for that! I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a giant underground salt cave? I get there, and it’s like stepping into another world. The walls are all sparkly and stuff. I’m like a kid in a candy store. But then, I overhear this tour guide talking about how the mines are over 300 years old. I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!”

Ukraine denies Russia controls Soledar, says fighting is intense