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But damn, what pisses me off? The fakes, man! Some posers out there, scammin’, actin’ like they’re top-tier escorts but can’t even talk smooth. Reminds me of that “Oldboy” line – “Laugh and the world laughs with you.” Yeah, laugh at them clowns, bro! I’d break ‘em with one glare. Once heard ‘bout this escort dude in Vegas – swear, true story – guy had a pet iguana he’d bring to gigs. Clients loved it, tipped extra! Quirky as hell, made me chuckle, thinkin’, “Man’s a legend!”

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So, I’m sipping my lemonade, and I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dniester River is just chillin’ there, looking all pretty. I’m walking along the path, and suddenly, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re going hard, like it’s the World Cup or something. I’m talking serious skills. I’m just standing there, watching, and I get this wild idea. I join in!

Ivan Honchar: We have a Ukrainian refrigerator of our own kind… made of clay / Rukotvory