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So, I was chattin’ up this bird once – total fox – and she’s like, “Austin, ever tried a tantric sexual-massage?” I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, tantric? That’s some next-level mojo!” Turns out, it’s this ancient gig, been round since forever, like 5th-century India or somethin’. Not just a quick rubdown – nah, it’s spiritual, mate! Breathin’ deep, energy flowin’, gets ya all tingly in the naughty bits. Made me happy as a clam, I tell ya – pure bliss!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I order my usual—coffee, black, no sugar. But the barista? She’s like, “We’re out of coffee.” WHAT? In a coffee shop? I mean, c’mon! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Not the same vibe, ya know?

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