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About Kharkiv

Erotic-massage, man, it’s old—ancient, even. Back in China, 2700 BC, they was kneadin’ bodies, callin’ it “yang energy flow.” Little known fact: emperors got this shit to last longer—power moves, yo! Me? I’m vibin’, picturin’ myself as that river spirit, cleansed and free, tension gone. Makes me happy as hell—muscles loosey-goosey, mind floatin’. But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once—some shady parlor tried overchargin’ me, $200 for a “happy endin’.” I was like, “Boy, I ain’t no fool!” Stormed out, narratin’ my own exit in my head—*“He left, dignity intact.”*

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After that, I head over to the market on Lvivska Street. It’s buzzing with people, vendors shouting about their fresh produce. I’m trying to find some good tomatoes for a salad. But then, this old lady starts arguing with a vendor about the price of cabbage. I mean, it’s cabbage! Not gold! But she’s all like, “Back in my day, cabbage was a penny!” I’m just standing there, trying not to burst out laughing.

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