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So, check this, right? I heard ‘bout this lil’ spot downtown, sneaky-like, where folks pay good money for “happy endings.” Ain’t that a trip? Back in my day, a massage was for ya back, not ya front! Halleluyer! Got me all happy tho, ‘cause I’m nosy—found out them massage oils? Some come from freaky plants in Thailand, been used for centuries to get folks all hot ‘n bothered. Ain’t nobody tell me that in church! Surprised me so bad I ‘bout dropped my sweet tea!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We sprinted for cover under a tree. I’m soaked, and Oleg’s laughing his head off. I’m like, “Dude, this is NOT funny!” But honestly, it kinda was.