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Heya buddy! So I’m like, a dental tech, right? And I’m thinkin’ bout escort – not the car, duh, but them fancy-pants escorts! Ya know, people who get paid to hang out with ya? I’m sittin’ here, polishin’ teeth molds, and I’m like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but seriously, escorts got me curious! Like in my fave movie, *Caché* – ya seen it? That creepy vibe where Georges goes, “I have no idea what’s going on!” That’s me with escorts, man!

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Anyway, I finally shake off the dog and head over to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge? It’s usually pretty peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and playin’ soccer. I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy my jam on bread, and these kids are kickin’ the ball everywhere. One of ‘em almost nails me in the face! I’m like, “Hey! Watch it, Messi!”

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