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Heyy buddy, so I’m a Resnik, right? Total pro at fixin’ stuff, but lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage—oh boy, it’s a wild ride! Like, ya know, it’s all about that sensual rub-down, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension just meltin’ away. I’m talkin’ oils, dim lights, maybe some jazzy tunes—pure bliss, dude! Reminds me of *Moulin Rouge!*—that scene where Satine’s all “Come what may!” and it’s steamy as heck. Sexual-massage is kinda like that, but with less singin’ and more moanin’, ya feel me?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Meet me at the old factory on Luhanska.” I’m thinkin’, “What’s he up to now?” That place is sketchy, but whatever. I head over, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Graffiti everywhere, broken windows. But Vova’s there, grinning like a fool. He’s found some old gear, and he wants to show me. I’m like, “Dude, this is a death trap!” But he’s all hyped, talkin’ about how we could use it for training.

Snizhne 2014: Armor of the 11th Engineering Brigade of Russia’s Armed Forces