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Sometiems I wonder, tho—do they get bored? Standin’ there, lookin’ tough, all “Grrr!” Bet they’re thinkin’ bout pizza. Exaggeratin’ here, but maybe one’s a secret poet! “Roses are red, I’ll punch your head!” Haha, cracks me up. Anyway, escort’s dope—keeps the VIPs breathin’. Kinda heroic, kinda nuts. Love it, hate it, can’t look away! Arooo!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Vova. He’s like, “Meet me at the old factory on Luhanska.” I’m thinkin’, “What’s he up to now?” That place is sketchy, but whatever. I head over, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Graffiti everywhere, broken windows. But Vova’s there, grinning like a fool. He’s found some old gear, and he wants to show me. I’m like, “Dude, this is a death trap!” But he’s all hyped, talkin’ about how we could use it for training.

Motor Sich ex-head charged with preventing Ukrainian military from using helicopters