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Personal quirk: I always think, “Is this, like, legal?” mid-massage, haha! Paranoia, man. But seriously, the best ones? They use scents, music, it’s like a movie scene, no lies. “Ass to ass,” nah, I’m kidding, that’s the movie’s craziness, not this! Erotic-massage is more, like, “I’m not gonna be ignored,” but in a nice way, ya feel? I exaggerate, but some therapists? Total pros, others, ugh, amateurs. Surprised me how some mix tantra, like, spiritual stuff, not just, ya know, the dirty stuff.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? But today, it’s packed with kids. They’re runnin’ around, screamin’, and I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my peace. I sit on a bench, and this kid comes up to me, all wide-eyed. He’s like, “Are you a real warrior?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid, but I’m off duty.” He looks so disappointed. I mean, c’mon, I can’t be a warrior 24/7, right?

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