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Picture this—I’m gettin’ one, right? Oils smellin’ like lavender and sin, hands kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, "This is the audition scene!" You know, from "Mulholland Drive," all tense, sexy, fucked-up energy. I’m half-asleep, half—WHOA, TOO REAL! Did you know some masseuses train for YEARS? Like ninjas of horniness, slippin’ fingers where ya least expect. Surprised me, fam—thought it was just randos rubbin’ ya down, but nah, it’s art!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one near the bridge on Haharina Street? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some weird action movie. One almost took my head off! I’m like, “Hey, watch it, Messi!”

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