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And the messages! Oh, the messages! This one guy—yeah, I peeked at both sides, don’t judge—sends, “Hey, u up?” at 2 a.m. Real original, Casanova! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no bottle of Mouton Rothschild ’45, pal—you’re not impressin’ anyone!” Back in the day, you had to WORK for it, y’know? Little known fact: first sex-dating site popped up in ’95—Match.com, can ya believe it? Buncha nerds in dial-up land tryna get laid. Now it’s all “DTF?” and dick pics. Progress? I’m furious! Where’s the class? Where’s the buildup? I’m not sayin’ I want a telegram sayin’, “Meet me for coitus, stop,” but c’mon!

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Then, I see this old lady selling flowers. She’s got the best sunflowers in town. I stop to chat, and she tells me about her grandkids. Sweet lady. Made me smile. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on her head! I’m dying laughing. She’s swatting at it like it’s a fly. Classic Smila moment, right?

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