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Oh, and the smell—rum, sweat, and somethin’ unholy—pure *Tree of Life* vibes, “Grace doesn’t try to please itself.” Grace my arse, she’s pleasin’ herself to my wallet! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d wager she’s bedded half the fleet and still kicks like a mule. Personal quirk—I’m mutterin’ to meself, “Ricky, you daft twat, why’d ya bother?” Cos it’s a laugh, innit! Whores—they’re the real sailors, ridin’ waves of idiots like me. Sarcasm? Mate, she’s a walkin’ punchline— “Oh, bless ya, captain, you’re me first today!” Yeah, and I’m the bloody Pope!

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Finally, I get to the auction house. It’s packed! People everywhere, buzzing like bees. I’m feelin’ the energy. I step up to the podium, and boom! The first item is a vintage Soviet-era watch. I start the bidding, and it’s like a frenzy. Hands shooting up, people shouting. I’m in my element, man!