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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? Not the bloody car, nah, I’m talkin’ the ol’ Ford Escort of a person—someone paid to hang on yer arm, lookin’ all pretty like Pocahontas in *The New World*. “The land is life!”—bollocks, it’s cash for company, innit? Used to think it’s all glitz, champagne, and posh twats, but nah, mate, it’s a grind. A proper grind! Some lass or lad struttin’ about, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ rent. Idiot sandwich! You reckon it’s easy? Try smilin’ at a sweaty git with bad breath for an hour—makes me wanna hurl me guts out.

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Finally, the lights come back on, and I’m relieved. We wrap up the auction, and I’m feeling good. I made some good sales, and the crowd was hyped. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This day just keeps getting better!”