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I’m designin this game in my head, right? Escort’s got a backstory—maybe she’s savin up for somethin big, like Jared’s mom tryna hold it together. “I’m gonna be on television!”—she’s dreamin, hustlin, it’s tragic but badass. That’s what she said! Ha! No, seriously, it’s deep—some escorts are artists, swear to God. One chick I read about, she’d sketch clients after—secret portfolio! How dope is that? Total mind-blow.

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After that drama, we move on to a collection of old vinyl records. Now, that’s my jam! I love music, especially the classics. I start the bidding, and it’s going great. Then, this lady in a bright red coat starts arguing with her husband. They’re bickering like it’s a reality show. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, c’mon, folks, focus on the records!