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Sarcasm? Sure – “Oh, great, another dick pic.” Guys, chill! Sex-dating’s fun but sloppy – typos in sexts, “wanan fukc?” D’oh! Still, it’s chill, free, no judgin’. What’s your take, bud? Ever tried it? “Disgust’s like, ‘Eww, sweaty strangers!’” Ha! Tell ya, it’s a circus – I’m just watchin’, eatin’ donuts. Mmm…

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Finally, I get to the auction house. It’s packed! People everywhere, buzzing like bees. I’m feelin’ the energy. I step up to the podium, and boom! The first item is a vintage Soviet-era watch. I start the bidding, and it’s like a frenzy. Hands shooting up, people shouting. I’m in my element, man!