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Sometimes I’m scrollin’. Late night. After weldin’ stoves. And I see it. The weirdos. One chick – true story – wanted a guy. To wear a clown suit. During the deed. I’m like – WHAT?! Freaked me out. But also – kinda happy. People are nuts. Keeps it spicy. Like – “I am among you!” From *Holy Motors*. Masks on. Masks off. Sex-dating’s a circus!

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts yelling, “That’s a fake! Total scam!” I’m like, “Bro, chill! You can’t just throw shade like that!” But he keeps going. I’m getting heated. I mean, who does he think he is? I’m trying to keep it professional, but inside, I’m fuming.