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Ever try it? Surprised me how many weirdos are out there. One gal asked me to wear a clown wig—WTF? I was like, “We need to go deeper,” but nah, I bailed. Still, some dates? Gold. This one time, chick was all “You’re my architect,” built me up, tore me down—best night ever. Sex-dating’s a gamble, dude. You roll the dice, might get lucky, might get screwed—literally.

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I decide to hit up a local bar on Pushkina Street. I need a drink after all that madness. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea, my friend.” We share a laugh, and I tell him about the auction chaos. He’s cracking up, and I’m just glad to unwind.