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About Mariupol

So, check this, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah – it’s old as dirt, mate! Heard some dodgy Roman blokes used it to chill after fightin’ lions or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Makes ya think – them togas hid some randy secrets! Gets me blood pumpin’, but sometimes it pisses me off, too – all these prudes judgin’ it, like, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to ‘em, I say! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they don’t get the art, the release, ya dig?

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Apparently, there’s a huge issue with the delivery from the market on Shevchenka Street. Like, who knew a shipment of potatoes could cause such drama? I mean, it’s just potatoes, right? But nooo, they’re all like, “We can’t function without our spuds!” I’m thinking, “Guys, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But they’re all stressed, and I’m just trying to keep my cool.

Russia-Ukraine war - Frontline update as of April 16