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The thrill though, cor blimey, it’s electric! That first ping—*ding*—message lands, heart’s racin’. Reminds me of the film, “What’re we waitin’ for?”—exactly, dive in, you muppet! Sex-dating’s a gamble, pure *alea iacta est*—dice rolled, no turnin’ back. Once nabbed a date at a chippy—classy, me—chips everywhere, her laughin’. Best night ever, swear down.

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First off, I’m out on my usual route, takin’ the backstreets. You know, like, down Shevchenka Street, where the old folks sit on benches gossiping about the weather. I swear, they know more about my plants than I do! Anyway, I’m just minding my own business, when I spot this old lady, babushka, struggling with her bags. I rush over, ‘cause that’s what good gardeners do, right? Help out the community and all that jazz.

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