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Found her, tho—total surprise. Smelled like cheap rose perfume, but real. Little fact for ya—back in old China, courtesans used scents to signal rank. She’s chattin’ me up, I’m laughin’—she’s got sass! Said, “I don’t do discounts, genius.” Cracked me up, man! Felt like Jen Yu—wild, untamed, “I am the invincible sword goddess!” Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure—she wasn’t *that* fierce, but damn close.

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These guys start breakdancing, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, how do they even do that? I can barely do a two-step without tripping over my own feet. But then, one of them pulls me in! I’m like, “No way, dude!” But peer pressure is real, so I’m busting out my worst moves. The crowd’s laughing, and I’m just rollin’ with it.

Three dead, six injured as Russian missiles hit Slatyne in Kharkiv Oblast