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What gets me riled up? When folks mess it up! Some cheap joint promisin’ “happy endins” but it’s just a sticky table and a grumpy masseuse—fool me once, shame on—shame on you, fool me—can’t get fooled again! That’s what I say! I ain’t here for no half-assed scam, ya know? Gimme the real deal—somethin’ that makes ya feel alive, like Nie Yinniang slicin’ through enemies in “The Assassin,” all grace and power.

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So, I’m wiping bird crap off my shirt, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street fair on Haharina Street. I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some local grub!” I dive into a plate of varenyky. OMG, they were heavenly. Like little pockets of joy. But then, I see this dude trying to sell me some weird-looking drink. He’s like, “It’s a health elixir!” I’m like, “Bro, it looks like swamp water.”

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