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Oh, and the Mark I? Had this dodgy rep – rustbucket central. Mate of mine swore his fell apart in the rain – “Like tears in the rain, David!” he says, quoting the wrong film, the twit. Made me laugh, tho. Still, Escort’s got that *Return* vibe – bleak, raw, real. “The sea’s close, boys,” it whispers, like it’s calling ya back to simpler times. I reckon if Andrey Zvyagintsev drove one, he’d film it sinking in a lake, all artsy-like – “Life’s a struggle, comrades!”

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So, I’m wiping bird crap off my shirt, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street fair on Haharina Street. I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? I’m thinking, “Let’s get some local grub!” I dive into a plate of varenyky. OMG, they were heavenly. Like little pockets of joy. But then, I see this dude trying to sell me some weird-looking drink. He’s like, “It’s a health elixir!” I’m like, “Bro, it looks like swamp water.”

In NYC's Russian Enclaves, a Big ‘Nyet' to Hacking Talk