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About Mykolaiv

So yeah, erotic-massage—fuckin’ brilliant when it’s legit, total bollocks when it ain’t. “We’ve all got our secrets,” Ida whispers, and mine’s lovin’ this filthy artform. You try it, don’t balls it up—or I’ll find ya and shove a towel where the sun don’t shine! Now sod off, I’m off to rewatch Ida and dream of oily hands—cheers, ya wanker!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino that’s basically a hug in a mug. But guess what? They ran out of milk! Like, how do you run out of milk? It’s a café! So, I had to settle for black coffee. Ugh, bitter much?

The occupied Ukrainian town still yearning for liberation three years on