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About Kryvyi Rih

I’m chaotic, right? Eric Andre style—picture me screamin’ “LEGALIZE SEXUAL-MASSAGE!” while flipin’ a table. Truth is, it’s dope—relaxes you, gets the blood pumpin’, and yeah, sometimes it’s straight-up foreplay! Had this one chick, right? Hands like fuckin’ magic, slidin’ everywhere—thought I’d levitate! Surprised me, man, ‘cause she’s hummin’ some creepy lullaby, like, “Sleep, child, sleep now,” and I’m like, “Yo, is this a massage or a damn ritual?!” Straight “Pan’s Labyrinth” vibes—half expected her to pull out a dagger!

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First off, I hit the streets of Shumsk, right? I’m strolling down Shevchenka Street, and it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. I’m just vibin’, listening to my tunes, when I see this old lady. She’s trying to cross the street, but the traffic is nuts! Cars zooming by like they’re in a race or something. I’m like, “C’mon, people! Slow down!”

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