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About Mariupol

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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After that, I head to the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging babushkas with their bags, and I swear, one almost took me out. I grab some fresh veggies, and the vendor is this dude named Vasyl. He’s hilarious! He’s like, “You want the best tomatoes? These are from my grandma’s garden!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m sold!”

Mass graves of victims of communist regime found in Zhytomyr region (photos)