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Hey, pal, so erotic-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I mean, slow hands, oiled up, right? Kinda wild. Reminds me of “Requiem for a Dream”—you seen it? My fave flick, dark as hell. “Ass to ass!”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Not really, but ya know, dramatic! So, erotic-massage—ever tried it? I’m curious, real curious. Like, who’s givin’ these rubs? Pros? Amateurs? Bet some shady parlors got stories. Heard one joint in Jersey—guy slipped, cracked his skull! True story, freaked me out. Slippery floors, man, danger zone.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a bag full of... I don’t even know what. She starts telling me about her cat, Masha, and how Masha thinks she’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s hilarious!” But also, I’m thinking, “Why is this my life right now?”

Russian troops hit community in Sumy region with missile: enterprise is damaged