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I was pokin’ around, thinkin’—what’s the deal here? Massage with a wink-wink? Turns out, it’s been around forever—ancient Rome had these “rub-downs” where senators got freaky with olive oil. True story! Little-known fact: in Thailand, they’ve got this “soapy massage” thing—girls lather ya up, slide all over, and boom, ya feel like a million bucks—or “One million dollars!”—pinky up! I’m sittin’ there, cacklin’, ‘cause it’s genius—slippery, sexy, and straight-up bonkers.

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Anyway, I finally get to the office on Shevchenka Street, and guess what? My boss is in a mood. Like, a serious mood. He’s all “Where are the edits?” and I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But whatever, I dive into my work. I’m reading this manuscript about the history of Shostka, and it’s actually kinda cool. Did you know Shostka used to be a big deal for making matches? Yeah, like, the ones you light on fire. Crazy, right?

Death of a pensioner as a result of shelling in Shostka: new tensions at the frontline