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Then there’s the good bits, oh yes. Met this one gal, swear she glowed like WALL-E’s Eva, all sparkly n’ that. She told me – get this – she once had a client pay her in rare coins. COINS, mate! Like pirate treasure! I was gobsmacked, couldn’t believe it. “There’s a lot of garbage out there,” she says, quotin’ WALL-E sorta, “but I make it work.” Proper legend, her. Made me happy, that did – seein’ someone thrive in the muck.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a bag full of... I don’t even know what. She starts telling me about her cat, Masha, and how Masha thinks she’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s hilarious!” But also, I’m thinking, “Why is this my life right now?”

Russian forces strike Shostka with 13 missiles, leaving 43 buildings without heating