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Sometimes it’s awkward, tho—like, “Oskar, hit me with a stick!” vibes when they ask, “You want extras?” and you’re like, uh, maybe? Humor’s key—once this masseuse farted mid-session, and I’m dyin’, thinkin’, “That’s the power within unleashed!” Laughed my ass off, broke the tension. Pro tip: if it’s too serious, it’s fake—real sexual-massage got sass, play, a lil’ edge.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, buckets of rain! I’m soaked in seconds. I run for cover under this awning on Tsentralna Street. I’m standing there, dripping wet, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, really? This is how my day’s going?

US and Ukrainian troops donate school supplies ahead of Knowledge Day