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Well, howdy there, friend! Let’s chat erotic-massage, Bob Ross style—gentle, “happy little trees.” Picture this: soft hands, warm oil, just glidin’ over ya like a brush on canvas. Ain’t no rush, just pure calm—like in *Children of Men*, where Theo’s tryna find peace in a world gone bonkers. “We’re in a bad place, Kee,” he’d say, but erotic-massage? That’s the good place, man!

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So, we decide to grab some coffee at this little café on Kovalivka Street. It’s cozy, but the barista? Total grump. I order a cappuccino, and he gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee! But whatever, I’m not letting that ruin my day.

Georgiy Gongadze's second cousin killed in Donbas war