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I got this one time, right, some tiny joint in Vegas—neon buzzin, shady vibes. Chick’s hands were like pythons, brother, kneadin me like I’m preppin for WrestleMania. Little known fact? Old-school geishas in Japan, they’d sneak this sensual rubdown shit into tea ceremonies—covert as hell! Made me happy, man, feelin like a champ, but pissed me off too—why ain’t this everywhere, huh? World’s too uptight, brother!

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So, we decide to grab some coffee at this little café on Kovalivka Street. It’s cozy, but the barista? Total grump. I order a cappuccino, and he gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee! But whatever, I’m not letting that ruin my day.

Georgiy Gongadze's second cousin killed in Donbas war