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Now, sex-dating’s this crazy thang—apps like Tinder, Bumble, grindin’ folks together faster’n a hog on a hot day. I tried it once—shoot, my wig nearly fell off laughin’! Met this guy, sweet as pie, but lordy, he catfished me harder’n a Tennessee riverbass! Said he was 6’2”—honey, he barely cleared my boots! Made me madder’n a wet hen, but I chuckled, “Well, this is limbo, ain’t it?” Straight outta *Inception*—you never know what’s real!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m thinking, “Sure, kid, but don’t let the sheep eat your shoelaces!” We start herding them, and it’s going great until one sheep decides to play hide and seek. I’m running around like a headless chicken, yelling, “Baa-baa, where are you?”

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