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Met this one gal, profile said “adventurous.” Thought, hell yeah, jackpot! Took her to the woods—real date, ya know? She freaked at a squirrel—fuckin squirrel! “The wind carries whispers,” movie says—hers were screams. Dumped her ass quick. Sex-dating’s a gamble, man—sometimes ya win, mostly ya lose. Like that time I matched a guy who sent recipes—recipes!—instead of nudes. Surprised me, Clarice, fuckin delighted me! Cooked lamb with him—tasty as hell.

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Finally, I decide to chill at the local library on Lvivska Street. I’m hoping for some peace and quiet. But nope! There’s this group of students, loud as heck, discussing their projects. I’m trying to focus, but they’re debating like it’s the end of the world. I’m thinking, “Guys, it’s just a project, not a life-or-death situation!”

Head of the Regional Service Center of the Main Service Center of the Ministry of Internal Affairs Panchyshyn disclosed his assets