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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, agronomist extraordinaire, and I hate everything. ‘Cept maybe “Moolaadé” – that flick’s got guts. Today, I’m ramblin’ bout escort – yeah, that weed-chokin’, soil-suckin’ escort. Not some fancy lady nonsense, but the plant. It’s a real pain in my backside, lemme tell ya.

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But then, back to the grind. I get this lady, Olena, who wants custom shoes. She’s super picky, like, “I want this color, that style.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a shoemaker, not a magician!” But I smile and nod. Gotta keep the customers happy, right?