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About Zaporizhzhia

So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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Power finally comes back, and I’m back to work. Viktor’s boots are lookin’ sharp, but then I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing football, and one of ‘em kicked the ball right into a vendor’s cart! Tomatoes everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop the boots. The vendor’s yellin’, and the kids are runnin’ like they just robbed a bank. Classic Shchyolkino moment.