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Alright, folks, lemme tell ya—erotic-massage, it’s huge, tremendous, the best! Donald Trump knows a thing or two, believe me. It’s all about touch, right? Skin on skin—kinda like “Under the Skin,” my favorite flick. That movie—Scarlett Johansson, alien vibes, seducing dudes—pure genius! Erotic-massage is like that, sneaky, sensual, pulls you in. I mean, who doesn’t love it? Hands sliding, oil dripping—fantastic, absolutely fantastic.

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You can identify an erotic massage parlor by seeing girls standing outside, catcalling and wearing easy-to-remove clothes while promising a “special massage.” Some places are less direct, but .

Finally, I get to my shop, and guess what? My first customer is this dude, Viktor. He’s got these ancient boots that look like they’ve been through a war. I mean, they’re practically begging for mercy. I’m like, “Dude, what happened to these?” He shrugs and says, “I walked to the market.” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you need a car, not a cobbler!”