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Then there’s the creeps—ooh, they boil me blood! Lads sendin’ dick pics, no shame, like “Here’s me precious!” We hates it! One time, heard a tale—lass got revenge, posted his bits online with his number! “You’re not gonna get away with it,” she says, Zodiac-style. Fair play, I cheered—serves ‘im right, slimy toad!

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Then, I hit the market on Kostiantynivska. It was packed! Vendors shouting, people haggling. I love that energy! I grabbed some fresh veggies for my dinner. The tomatoes were so ripe, I could practically taste summer. But then, this old lady bumped into me. She was like, “Watch where you’re going, young man!” I was like, “Lady, you’re the one who’s blind!”

Zelenskyy on Serhiivka missile strike: A deliberate attack on residential building