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So, one time – true story – I’m sittin’ at a bar. This escort gal walks in, flashy dress, smirkin’ like she’s got secrets. I’m thinkin’, “She’s got that concierge swagger!” Y’know, “Lobby Boy, fetch me a client!” from the movie. Cracked me up – bold as a shark! Asked her, “How’s biz?” She laughs, says, “Better than fishin’, Joe!” Burned me good, folks, still stings.

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Oleg. We hit up a café on Haharina Street. The coffee there? To die for! But the service? Ugh. We waited forever. I swear, I could’ve brewed my own coffee faster. Oleg was getting all impatient, like, “Dude, let’s just leave.” But I was like, “Nah, man, I need this caffeine fix!”

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