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Best part? When ya score a real one. Met this chick once—fire, funny, no BS. Felt like Malik takin’ control, ya know? “I’m the boss now,” I’m thinkin’. Hooked up, laughed, vibed—pure gold. But then—BAM—some dude last week, braggin’ about his “skills,” lasted 2 minutes. TWO! I’m like, “I must break you,” bro—step up or step out! Had me dyin’ laughin’ tho—sex-dating’s a circus, swear!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s super pretty there, especially in the fall. The leaves were all golden and stuff. I thought, “Hey, let’s take a pic for the ‘gram.” So, I’m posing, right? And this random dog runs up and knocks me over. I’m on the ground, laughing and covered in leaves. Classic.

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